velveetafedora

It all reeks of privilege.

I’m will­ing to work to­geth­er but what I’m not will­ing to do is just go along with what­ev­er they want be­cause they all got woke 18 months ago and de­cid­ed to turn pol­i­tics into a trav­el­ing mu­sic fes­ti­val where they get tat­toos and over­draft their bank ac­counts giv­ing po­lit­i­cal do­na­tions and in the mean­time fail to read the rules on how to ac­tu­al­ly reg­is­ter to vote and make sure their vote is counted.

—Emi­ly Duchaine, a poet laureate

 

I dance in my job. They tell me to stop.

Do I stop? No.

Do they fire me? Yes. Do I care? No.

Why? (clap, clap, spin) be­cause I’m a dancer!

 

 

Del Taco should al­low me to bring in a Mex­cian Piz­za from Taco Bell to sup­ple­ment my meal un­til they get their act to­geth­er and start of­fer­ing their own.

They haven’t tried to stop me but the anx­i­ety is too much.

 

 

The War­by Park­er of di­rect-to-video Porky’s sequels

 

White Cas­tle fries only come in one size.

No longer fac­tu­al­ly ac­cu­rate but still fun to say.

 

 
 

Cleve­land’s Cuya­hoga Riv­er in 1967, be­fore it fa­mous­ly caught fire
and be­fore the cre­ation of the EPA and pas­sage of the Clean Wa­ter Act.
Source, info.

 

The War­by Park­er of di­vorced uncles
could use a per­son­al phone call
if you have the time

 
 

 

Taco Johns Ad­ven­ture Team is GO.

 

 

The War­by Park­er of more or less agree­able down­mar­ket brie

 

 
 

“Kramer, this was Jon Voight’s Fleshlight.”

 
 
 

—ja­son malmberg

Flom­mist Ja­son Malm­berg is a sim­ple man who be­lieves in brown liquor and small dogs. He also makes art some­times. Copy­right © 2017 Ja­son Malmberg.

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