unscientific social media observations

One of my fa­vorite things to do: 

Read pub­lic po­lit­i­cal ar­gu­ments over so­cial me­dia and com­pare the time­stamps based on the poster’s lo­ca­tion. I also love to see how many peo­ple sup­port comments. 

Of these un­sci­en­tif­ic ob­ser­va­tions (like: How the hell would you even make a con­trol group for this? Would a con­trol group be nec­es­sary?), my findings:

·  Men love to as­sume if a pro­file pic­ture of a ‘white’ in­di­vid­ual with a fe­male sound­ing name is post­ing with­in the tra­di­tion­al 9–5, Monday–Friday work week, they’re house­wives. And house­wives are au­to­mat­i­cal­ly as­sumed unintelligent.

·  If the pro­file pic­ture of some­one who vis­i­bly looks younger than the age of 40 com­ments, then there will be ap­prox­i­mate­ly 3 in­di­vid­u­als who will ac­cuse them of be­ing child­ish, ac­cuse them of wast­ing their lives and they should shut up and “get a job.”

They will also be in­struct­ed to grow-up, learn a few things, and my per­son­al fa­vorite the “spe­cial snowflake” (and its vari­a­tions) com­ment. Main­ly be­cause I love the idea of see­ing self-en­ti­tled ass­holes try­ing to flit­ter their hands like a but­ter­fly, tilt their head, at­tempt a duck face, and do a whiney voice while say­ing spe­cial snowflake. Then feel so proud that they mocked some­one while I’m there go­ing, “that was a sub­par per­for­mance. But I bet­ter not tell them. They’re a spe­cial snowflake.”

·  If a POC com­ments dur­ing the tra­di­tion­al work times, they are con­sid­ered leech­es on the fed­er­al fi­nan­cial sys­tem – dou­bly so if the image/name is from a woman. This is gen­er­al­ly backed by 1–2 peo­ple with an ex­po­nen­tial amount of likes un­char­ac­ter­is­ti­cal­ly por­trayed through the string of the con­ver­sa­tion un­til four hours have passed and some­one has men­tioned their SO is a po­lice of­fi­cer, a mil­i­tary per­son, or uses some­one else’s per­son­al ex­pe­ri­ence as their own be­cause they “know them.”

·  Peo­ple with the least in­tel­lec­tu­al and open-for de­bate minds will end their com­ments with an in­com­plete sen­tence and an ex­cla­ma­tion point. So predictable!

·  One per­son will al­ways ask if every­one can get along. They will have few ‘likes’ but the per­son be­low them who said “no” first will hold 10–15% of the to­tal likes on the orig­i­nal post.
 

We’re tru­ly fas­ci­nat­ing creatures! 

I just wish we all could see how fas­ci­nat­ing we were to each oth­er; even when we’re be­ing ter­ri­ble. Which is – if you couldn’t guess it – all the time.

Oh yeah. Also, 

·  Every­one is clear­ly stuck in a coma un­able to wake up from their fan­ta­sy world, and Descartes won.
 

—jes

Flom­mist Jes ex­ists for mo­ments of fiery in­spi­ra­tion. See her in­spi­ra­tional byprod­ucts at jdeprez.com. Copy­right © 2017 JES DEPREZ.

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