three hundred sixty-five degrees

Is any­one else bugged by that State Farm com­mer­cial with the burn­ing she-shed? 

It has so much un­ex­plained back­sto­ry to it that comes from a sin­gle word.
 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ffs4gSJjjV4

Sh­eryl says,
“Well, it fi­nal­ly hap­pened. Some­one burned down my she-shed.”

Ques­tion:
“What do you mean by ‘fi­nal­ly’ Sheryl?”
 

Pos­si­bly implications:

1.
She is be­ing tar­get­ed by some­one who doesn’t like her (or pos­si­bly just does­n’t like her she-shed) and this at­tack­er has burned down her she-shed so many times be­fore that she has no sur­prise about it yet again be­ing on fire.

2.
In the State Farm com­mer­cial-uni­verse, it is fate that all she-sheds even­tu­al­ly burn (hence the guy next to her’s dis­may at her get­ting an­oth­er, and her lack of sur­prise or anger at the fire).

3.
She is com­mit­ting in­sur­ance fraud, and is poor­ly try­ing to play it off as ar­son (hence the lack of anger or sur­prise in her voice, and the ‘oh come on’ tone of the guy next to her).

4.
Spon­ta­neous com­bus­tion is, in fact, pos­si­ble (and fre­quent) for inan­i­mate ob­jects in the State Farm commercial-universe.

5.
Sh­eryl is an elec­tri­cian who watched an in­ex­pe­ri­enced elec­tri­cian try to wire her she-shed. She could have re­done the work, but to prove a point she let the bad wiring even­tu­al­ly burn down her she-shed, be­cause she’d re­coup the costs through in­sur­ance as well as be­ing able to rub it in said-technician’s face.

6.
Sh­eryl has an­gered the God of She-Sheds, and in­curred their wrath. As such, she is not sur­prised when said-de­ity burns her shed as a sign of their might. In this case, the ‘some­one’ in ‘some­one burned down my she-shed” would be sarcastic.
 

Wel­come to an­oth­er episode of ‘David Over­thinks Things.’ 

I’m your host, David Loret de Mola. 

*cue open­ing credits*
 
 

—david loret de mola

Flom­mist David Loret de Mola is a Grand Slam Po­et­ry Cham­pi­on of Sacra­men­to with Sac Uni­fied Slam Team and Zero For­bid­den Goals who has rep­re­sent­ed the City of Sacra­men­to in the Na­tion­al Po­et­ry Slam, and 100 Thou­sand Po­ets for Change in Saler­no, Italy. Copy­right © 2019 David Loret de Mola.

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