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THE BATTLE FOR MODeRN 1923


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#teammondrian

Every­body has a fa­vorite sandwich. 

Ted­dy likes sand­wich­es, and he wants all sand­wich­es to be the same. Mostly. 

Piet makes a great sand­wich; sim­ple, but with many lay­ers of fla­vor and tex­ture. Piet likes his sand­wich, and so do many others. 

Ted­dy no­tices this, and be­cause he can, de­cides to open a restau­rant. Ted­dy en­lists Piet’s in­volve­ment, as well as that of oth­er less­er-abled sand­wich mak­ers, to staff his shop. 

derTung_TEAMm01

But, Ted­dy is a frus­trat­ed artist, and a weasel. Fum­ing at Piet’s suc­cess­ful cre­ation, Ted­dy puts arugu­la on it and slices it di­ag­o­nal­ly, pro­claim­ing his su­pe­ri­or effort. 

And Piet prompt­ly quits, kick­ing Ted­dy square in the nuts for at­tempt­ing a Vanil­la Ice on HIS creation.

A beaver whose breath reeks of cab­bage can­not thus­ly be la­belled a cab­bage; and a cab­bage redo­lent of beaver musk will nev­er build a dam.

MONDRIAN2

Ted­dy: “Hey! In­stead of do­ing one thing well, let’s do sev­er­al things in­stead! Yeah, innovate!”

In­no­vat­ed him­self right out of existence.

MONDRIAN1

Scrab­ble don’t al­low no di­ag­o­nals, bitches!

I hate Sodoku too.

derTung_Tm04

I will LOVE the FOOD SPREAD we have for 4.23 THIS SAT­UR­DAY NIGHT

NOT SUN­DAY. Sat­ur­day. Be­cause NOT SUN­DAY already.

Doesn’t any­body read the fine print any­more? 4.23 is on 4.22 this year. Show up on 4.23 and you’ll miss every­thing.

Like Ted­dy did.

MONDRIAN3

El­e­men­tarism, dear Bon­set.

I bet Piet en­joyed a few sand­wich­es dur­ing his time in Paris. 

PietMondrianInParis

Piet and MRS. Van Doesburg!

In Paris, be­fore Ted­dy died.

Mondrian5

Ted­dy shoul­da got into donuts. by tak­ing a fly­ing fuck in the di­rec­tion of one.

CIR­CLES. To­tal­ly radical. 

Mondrian10

Mondrian11

Mondrian12

Gonna make piz­za dough today.

Topped with shred­ded Von Doesburg.

Donuts, sand­wich­es, piz­za. I’m starvin. 

#Team­Mon­dri­an

derTung_Tm08


 
 
 

—rob­bie van edmonds

Flom­mist Rob­bie Ed­monds would love to sit down with you and dis­cuss his the­o­ries of mind-swap­ping and time trav­el, but it ap­pears as if he, as his cat, just left to stop him­self from do­ing so … AGAIN! Copy­right © 2017 Rob­bie Ed­monds. Pic­tured: Works and im­ages and items found around the in­ter­webs. Top foto com­pos­ite by mehallo.

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Der Tung
Posted
Tue 18 Apr 2017

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