I’m sitting on my back porch enjoying a glass of wine and my motherfucking neighbor – who is a block over from my house – just set off
the actual. most. terrifying. firework.
I’ve never ever seen nor heard a firework like this in my life, like there is no fucking way that shit was legal, it lit up our whole block and physically shook the neighborhood,
like I genuinely looked back at the sound and saw the brightness that looked like a real life explosion and covered my head and rolled to the ground like how they taught us during nuclear drills in school – and people had been lighting off fireworks so I deadass thought, in my mind when I saw that shit,
“oh shit that is not a firework, that is a fucking bomb.”
It was so loud it silenced the crickets and frogs,
like it was dead silence afterward,
until suddenly, I could hear children and babies from like 3, maybe 4, 5 houses around me start crying.
I’m *outside* and I could hear them crying in a chorus from *inside* of their homes in fear.
It wasn’t fucking funny. Don’t laugh, it made fucking babies cry.
Whoever did that is a fucking asshole. Fuck them so hard.
—natalie michelle
Flommist Natalie Michelle doesn’t have a bio. She just rants. Copyright © 2020 Natalie Michelle.
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