“I can still hear you saying you must never break the chain retail stores, but give it a try!”
I’m
giving
a
clothing subscription and a ‘personal stylist’
a whirl
and I just previewed my first shipment, because this one lets you do that.
We had extensive conversations about what I do and don’t like and I also sent her two Pinterest boards full of examples of things I already own and things I’d like to try.
It’s taking everything in me not to reply to her and say, “What was it about ‘no ruffles, flowy blouses, or boho styles’ that was unclear?”
I mean, look at this. LOOK AT IT. It’s almost as bad as the puffy shirt from Seinfeld. I’d never in a million years wear something like this. Is it a nightshirt for when I play Ebenezer Scrooge this Christmas?!
I said that I like a tailored look and things that show off my figure. This shit looks like what Stevie Nicks would wear on the 40th anniversary tour of the Rumors album.
The men I know who have tried these services seem to love it.
That’s because there are five or six tried and true classic styles for men but every season there’s fifty new takes on hot garbage for women that didn’t look good the first 49 times.
I also told her I’m mostly looking for work clothes.
Here is an example of an outfit I gave her
and she came back with
NOT EVEN CLOSE.
I mean, when I opened up the app and saw what she’d put in there, it was a total Gordon Ramsay moment.
—emily duchaine
Flommist Emily Duchaine lives in the Pacific Northwest. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and listen to the Talking Heads. She pretends to be a professional businesswoman most days. Copyright © 2017 Emily Duchaine.
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