my ghosts:
christmas past: Catherine O’Hara
christmas present: Patton Oswalt
christmas future: Megan Rapinoe
their messages:
past: You had some good times but things were more fucked up than you realized. Be gentle with yourself now.
present: It’s a pain in the ass to slog through this every year, but at least you have your husband and a warm, safe home and food to eat.
future: Hey I’m not here to scare you, you’re honestly doing pretty great, all things considered. I’m your future ghost just because I know how badly you’ve been wanting to meet me. Also, keep being yourself, standing your ground, and try not to let dumb shit bug you.
Also,
in the morning when I see them waving goodbye, Keanu Reeves is with them for some reason even though he’s not dead.
Although, neither are any of these other people.
The person who tells me I’ll be visited by three ghosts is obviously Audrey Hepburn as a bonus ghost.
rapinoe: Oh I do have one piece of bad news, though. You’re gonna outlive, like, everyone. Think supercentarian.
me: Fuck.
—emily duchaine
Flommist Emily Duchaine lives in the Pacific Northwest. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and listen to the Talking Heads. She pretends to be a professional businesswoman most days. Copyright © 2021 Emily Duchaine.
PLEASE SUPPORT FLOMM
TIPS + DONATIONS DISCREETLY ACCEPTED