I can’t find the meme or the comedian who said it so I didn’t come up with this but back in 2016 I remember someone saying (a Black woman IIRC) that this is the timeline that happened because Marty McFly fucked his mom.
Participating in this democracy right now feels like I’m back in elementary school again and I’m told my ideas are lame and I have to sit back and watch the bullies and jocks make an absolute mess of things and just try to get through the day.
Everywhere is a zoo.
Like an escape room – but to get out I have to remember someone’s name after they’ve already told me 26 times.
You often hear people say, “This country is so divided because nobody talks to each other anymore,” and I finally realized why that bothers me so fucking much and what it reminds me of:
I grew up with an extremely toxic mother who never blamed herself for any of her problems or took any responsibility to fix them. Nothing was ever her fault. She was always the victim. She “tried so hard in life,” but like, not really.
That’s a bunch of bullshit. This is the same woman who straight up told me to marry rich because she had the chance to marry a doctor and didn’t and “now I have to work.”
She started being really, really terrible toward me the minute I started to develop my own personality and show a little independence.
She was both physically and emotionally abusive, she was controlling, and she was manipulative. She screamed and yelled at me constantly and when that wasn’t enough she’d hit me. She’d tell me “no” and not let me do things simply because she could, and make insane accusations — like I was deliberately doing things like the dishes wrong just to try to piss her off.
Well into my adulthood, when I’d sit down and try to talk this out with her and work through things, she never wanted to hear any of it. There was always some excuse, some reason I was being ungrateful.
The things I said made her feel bad. Or she’d straight up deny them and call me a liar. After a while she’d say she didn’t want to talk about it anymore, and then the next phase was to tell everyone she had no idea why I wouldn’t talk to her, she’d tried everything.
It’s absolute bullshit that nobody talks to each other. People have been screaming. Begging and pleading. Desperately trying. Coaxing. Compromising. Tolerating.
They just don’t want to hear it. They don’t care.
If nobody wants to talk anymore, there’s a very good reason why. All this is, is manipulative victim blaming.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that the younger sister I’ve often imagined having is really just my younger self, and now in my middle age, I should model myself after the person she needed most.
Also, I’ve never been a Peanuts fan but in my head I like to think Snoopy secretly hated all those damn kids.
He serves them cheap snack foods for Thanksgiving and then after they all fuck off, he and Woodstock share a turkey.
—emily duchaine
Flommist Emily Duchaine lives in the Pacific Northwest. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and listen to the Talking Heads. She pretends to be a professional businesswoman most days. Copyright © 2024 Emily Duchaine.
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