pro-glamor, bitches

So I keep see­ing all these
make­up pos­i­tive / stop make­up sham­ing  posts/hashtags late­ly.

First of all, can we stop mak­ing every­thing a so­cial jus­tice cam­paign? Yes, your make­up is em­pow­er­ing be­cause of dumb­fuck beau­ty stan­dards and so you should­n’t feel bad if you choose to wear it (or not wear it, what­ev­er), how­ev­er this is­sue cer­tain­ly does not have the weight of, say, those beau­ty stan­dards be­ing racial­ly-bi­ased or women killing them­selves to meet Pho­to­shopped weight re­quire­ments. Still, I’m gonna weigh in here be­cause make­up sham­ing is ex­haus­tive­ly stu­pid.

First there’s this non­sense:
‘I like a nat­ur­al girl. I don’t like girls who wear too much make­up.’

Well, for starters, I give no fucks what you would like a woman to do with her face, my de­ci­sions about make­up will cer­tain­ly not hinge on your opin­ions. Also, good fuck­ing luck find­ing that Megan Fox su­per­mod­el beau­ty that Hol­ly­wood has con­vinced you you’re en­ti­tled to with­out wear­ing make­up. Also, like, you’re ac­tu­al­ly re­al­ly such a nat­u­ral­ist that you’d re­ject a hot girl be­cause she wears make­up? Please.

Or even more laugh­able:
‘Make­up is cheat­ing.’

Yeah, and win­ning the ge­net­ic lot­tery of high cheek bones and nar­row noses that fit the beau­ty stan­dards you re­in­force is­n’t cheat­ing? What­ev­er, dude, what­ev­er. Not to men­tion by this log­ic go­ing to gym is also cheat­ing be­cause I know your dumb ass didn’t come out of the womb with a six pack. How is that shit any dif­fer­ent?

How­ev­er – and most im­por­tant­ly to me – I am 100% PRO-glam­or.
If every­one walked around like 80s Blitz Kids cov­ered in glit­ter and big hair it would be HoE for me.

Be­ing anti-make­up is be­ing
anti-self ex­pres­sion,
anti-art,
anti-glam, and you can just fuck off with that.

Fi­nal­ly, stop fuck­ing telling women what to do – we’ll do what­ev­er we want. Stop be­ing whiny con­trol freak bitch­es and deal.

—na­tal­ie michelle

Flom­mist Na­tal­ie Michelle does­n’t have a bio. She just rants. Copy­right © 2015 Na­tal­ie Michelle. All rights re­served. Pho­tos are from In­Style, GQ, and prob­a­bly VOGUE. Prob­a­bly.

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