please accept this small gift

BE­HOLD!

My plan for world dom­i­na­tion in the spheres of pub­lish­ing and fine art, 2023:
 

 

Your door­bell will ring.

Be­fore you will stand James Dean, un­dead and smil­ing warm­ly with both eyes and mouth. He is wear­ing a well-fit­ted UPS uni­form and car­ry­ing a Bluth­n­er Idyl­lic Ex­cel­lence glass pi­ano stuffed with new­ly-mint­ed Ben­jamins in one hand, and a 1955 Mer­cedes-Benz 300SL Gull­wing in mit­tel­grün, brim­ming with fresh cut Juli­et Ros­es in the oth­er.

How strong he is! In the oth­er, he hands you a pup­py – a Cav­a­lier King Charles spaniel.

Yes, he has three hands. The whole thing is some­how dipped in plat­inum, rolled in pre­cious fair-trade gem­stones, and pre­sent­ed in an at­mos­phere of com­plete and ut­ter peace, scent­ed with new-mown hay and just a hint of Comme Des Gar­cons Amaz­in­green Eau De Par­fum.

Aretha, Dusty, Mar­vin and Amy are cheer­ful­ly singing “Oh Hap­py Day” in the back­ground, very much alive.

Look! Now, there’s pup­pies every­where! Some­one is lick­ing your face, but who?

 

—lau­rie rosen­wald

Flom­mist Lau­rie Rosen­wald is an Amer­i­can il­lus­tra­tor, au­thor, artist, and de­sign­er. Copy­right © 2023 Lau­rie Rosen­wald.

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