nonplussed

So, the Thurs­day Is Weird Soda Day thing is back. And so is this week’s weird soda: Coca-Cola Life!

And in the nifty yet un­ap­pe­tiz­ing 8 ounce army green bot­tle,
as op­posed to the 12 ounce can,
I was ex­pect­ing a rev­e­la­tion to my taste buds.

Did I men­tion that I don’t care for ste­via? Same goes for su­cralose and as­par­tame. If I can’t burn it as fuel for my body, I have no rea­son to con­sume it. Plus, most in the ar­ti­fi­cial sweet­en­ers cat­e­go­ry (ste­via IS nat­ur­al tho, so why does it taste fake here?) have a syn­thet­ic fla­vor that makes me strange­ly un­easy, like I just mis­judged that last step off the mov­ing side­walk at the air­port.

So,
ice-cold and in a glass bot­tle, good;
but I find that it mess­es with my taste buds for quite awhile af­ter I had only a few sips.

No real sur­prise though, as I very sel­dom en­joy even a reg­u­lar Coke any­more. Just doesn’t taste right, soooooo … one out of five belch­es.

Should prob­a­bly lick a toad to cleanse the palate, but first I’ll try Dasani Black Cher­ry Sparkling Wa­ter Bev­er­age!

Dasani is usweet­ened – now all the rage, with La Croix cans tak­ing over every soda aisle every­where – and also man­u­fac­tured by Coke, it man­ages to re­move SOME of the af­ter­taste of its cousin.

But, don’t ex­pect a mir­a­cle, Max; nei­ther one of them are ‘true love.’

Dasani rates a three out­ta five; for what it lacks, it de­liv­ers more.

Got­ta keep look­ing. See ya next Thurs­day, mind the cart.
 
 

—rob­bie ed­monds

Flom­mist Rob­bie Ed­monds would love to sit down with you and dis­cuss his the­o­ries of mind-swap­ping and time trav­el, but it ap­pears as if he, as his cat, just left to stop him­self from do­ing so … AGAIN! Copy­right © 2017 Rob­bie Ed­monds.

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