nightman to dayman

*phone rings*

me:
*scowls im­me­di­ate­ly, be­grudg­ing­ly an­swers*
“Hel­lo?!”

per­son call­ing:
“Hi, is this Emi­ly?”

me:
*even more an­noyed*
“YesmayI­askwhoz­call­ing­plea.”

per­son:
“Oh his this is [name] from [restau­rant I sent an email to last night about Christ­mas din­ner]. I’m call­ing about the email you sent us?”

me:
*dis­po­si­tion gen­uine­ly and IM­ME­DI­ATE­LY changes*
“Oh haaaaaai­i­i­i­ii!!! Yes, omg thanks so much for call­ing me.”

per­son:
“Yeah, you’re wel­come! So you want­ed to or­der Christ­mas din­ner?”

me:
“Yessssssss it was so good on­Thanks­giv­ing so we are ex­cit­ed you’re do­ing it again. Also, I’m re­al­ly sor­ry for sound­ing terse when I an­swered. I sort of hate talk­ing on the phone and I to­tal­ly for­got I sent you an email with my num­ber last night so I wasn’t ex­pect­ing a call.”

he:
le­git laughed, hard, and said,
“Oh I to­tal­ly get it. I think that’s a lot of peo­ple. I don’t like it ei­ther.”

When smart­phones first came out I was like “why would I ever want that? All I want is a phone.”

Now I want lit­er­al­ly every­thing ex­cept a phone.

I went from be­ing Night­man to Day­man in a split sec­ond when I re­al­ized the call was about food.

 

—emi­ly duchaine

Flom­mist Emi­ly Duchaine lives in the Pa­cif­ic North­west. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and lis­ten to the Talk­ing Heads. She pre­tends to be a pro­fes­sion­al busi­ness­woman most days. Copy­right © 2020 Emi­ly Duchaine.

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