*phone rings*
me:
*scowls immediately, begrudgingly answers*
“Hello?!”
person calling:
“Hi, is this Emily?”
me:
*even more annoyed*
“YesmayIaskwhozcallingplea.”
person:
“Oh his this is [name] from [restaurant I sent an email to last night about Christmas dinner]. I’m calling about the email you sent us?”
me:
*disposition genuinely and IMMEDIATELY changes*
“Oh haaaaaaiiiiii!!! Yes, omg thanks so much for calling me.”
person:
“Yeah, you’re welcome! So you wanted to order Christmas dinner?”
me:
“Yessssssss it was so good onThanksgiving so we are excited you’re doing it again. Also, I’m really sorry for sounding terse when I answered. I sort of hate talking on the phone and I totally forgot I sent you an email with my number last night so I wasn’t expecting a call.”
he:
legit laughed, hard, and said,
“Oh I totally get it. I think that’s a lot of people. I don’t like it either.”
When smartphones first came out I was like “why would I ever want that? All I want is a phone.”
Now I want literally everything except a phone.
I went from being Nightman to Dayman in a split second when I realized the call was about food.
—emily duchaine
Flommist Emily Duchaine lives in the Pacific Northwest. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and listen to the Talking Heads. She pretends to be a professional businesswoman most days. Copyright © 2020 Emily Duchaine.
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