more than i can

The more op­por­tu­ni­ty I am giv­en, the more hope­ful I feel, but also the deep­er this grief gets – for the for­mer self that I remember, 

who could get so much done in a day,
who could walk for miles,
climb fences and build­ings in heels,
stay up all night drink­ing straight Jäger and still go to work the next day. 

I’m afraid of what hap­pens when I get every­thing I want and don’t have the en­er­gy to main­tain it. My mind is nav­i­gat­ing but my heart still hurts.

—bwargh von modnar

Flom­mist Bwargh von Mod­nar is. Copy­right © 2016 Bwargh von Modnar.

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