Do you remember
where you were
the day Kennedy told you
about mints
all comin from inside you?
“WE’VE TRACED THE CALL AND THE MINTS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE YOU!!!!”
“Looks like I’m gonna have to go inside you and have a look around til we find the culprit. I’ll light my way with this candle that I just ignited … WITH MY MIND.”
“Very good. I’ll set an array of tiger traps out back in case our suspect tries to hoof it.”
“Recon reporting in from 10,000 feet. Clear skies but not much to see from up here. The heat signature from the mint is off the charts tho.”
“I’m sorry I meant ‘off the charts’ like it isn’t on any of them. Sorry if that was unclear. Check out this sweet barrel roll.”
“You chuckleheads are goofy in the noodle. The Jerries are too cunning not to have covered their tracks by now. Just another mongoose hunt if ya ask me.”
“Reporting in from near the pancreas. Either we are getting close or my mind is playing tricks on me. All I can smell is spearmint and lost dreams.”
“Were all counting on you Stretch.”
“That means a lot to me. Word is bond, dog.”
“Oh isn’t that sweet you two. I think I’m about to get all goosey too. Now cut the chatter ladies, this is a party line.”
“Need backup. Encountering resistance.”
“Perimeter secured. Repeat: Perimeter secured.”
“Now let’s get you back out of here, my lovely. Eureka!”
“Sadly the host … the host didn’t make it.”
“That is indeed unfortunate. But ‘the package’ is secured?”
“yeah yeah … we got it … but at what cost?”
“Great work … Now I’ll just be taking that off your hands.”
“the damn double cross.”
— fin —
Oh snap!
—jason malmberg
Flommist Jason Malmberg is a simple man who believes in brown liquor and small dogs. He also makes art sometimes. Copyright © 2019 Jason Malmberg.
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