‘is this thing on?’

Re­cov­er­ing af­ter the 4.23 per­for­mance I gave yes­ter­day on no sleep. 

Thought I would just be fill­ing a lit­tle bit of time here and there … End­ed up do­ing a full hour set. 

Next time, for sure, I will pre­pare in some fash­ion oth­er than just show­ing up with in­stru­ments (or so I tell myself). 

Maybe I need­ed it though. 

My head­space late­ly has been the worst, but some­thing about per­form­ing puts re­al­i­ty back in its place for a sec­ond, even if I’m still not the most nat­ur­al at be­ing in front of people. 

Some­one com­ment­ed on my po­et­ry last night, that they like how well I’d cap­tured that feel­ing of go­ing through anxiety.

Then Car­lo said some­thing to the ef­fect that he does­n’t ever ex­pe­ri­ence that, he just has an un­der­stand­ing based on what oth­er peo­ple have de­scribed to him, and works out all his oth­er neg­a­tive feel­ings through art. The only non-angsty Flommist.

Thanks for giv­ing me a place to share my too-lengthy swear laden ma­te­r­i­al, Steve Mehal­lo. And to my long­time friends Nick and Rob for giv­ing up most of their Sat­ur­day to play road­ie and help me get through all the things. 

My sup­port net­work is small, but mighty. I kind of suck at ex­press­ing it, but it means a lot to me. So thanks.

 
 

—bwargh von modnar

Flom­mist Bwargh von Mod­nar is. Copy­right © 2016 Bwargh von Mod­nar. Fo­tos by Rone, Danielle, Fe­lix and Mehallo.‬

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