If you say his name 3 times, he shows up behind you and smells your hair

Yeah I’m pret­ty dis­gust­ed right now.

·  Kon­cen­tra­tion Kamps 4 Kids!
·  Roll­backs of Roe v. Wade
·  Trans­gen­der mil­i­tary ban
·  Crazy ass Ore­gon militia
·  Mass shoot­ings all the time
·  Home­less peo­ple treat­ed like vermin
·  Add your own to this list!

I’m not watch­ing the De­mo­c­ra­t­ic pres­i­den­tial de­bate be­cause I have no in­ter­est in see­ing women get shout­ed down by men who wag­gle their fin­gers and barf the same sev­en sound bites about Big Banks and Hard Work­ing Amer­i­cans and Vet­er­ans, and make stu­pid dorky lit­tle quips that only cause their in­ex­plic­a­ble pop­u­lar­i­ty to surge up­ward even though a woman would be lam­pooned and lam­bast­ed for say­ing the same ex­act thing.

She didn’t smile enough. She smiled too much. Her laugh was weird. She was too stiff. She was too loose. She shout­ed. She wasn’t as­sertive enough. I didn’t like her tone. Her tone was too soft. That col­or looked bad on her. I just don’t trust her. She’s not fun­ny. I wouldn’t want to have a beer with her. Why is she hap­py. She’s act­ing too con­fi­dent. She’s not re­lat­able. No charis­ma. Etc etc etc etc etc etc.

Fuck Joe Biden.

War­ren or GTFO.

Don’t @ me.

Maybe if we are lucky, a sand­worm will burst up from the ground and swal­low them both (Biden/Bernie). Bonus if Geena Davis is rid­ing it.

“I like the sand­worm be­cause the sand­worm tells it like it is. Okay, so the sand­worm can’t talk but I don’t like Warren’s tone. I’m lean­ing to­ward sandworm.”

”War­ren used to be a Republican.”

“The sand­worm is a Republican.”

“Yeah, but the sand­worm has al­ways been a Re­pub­li­can and I like con­sis­ten­cy. War­ren is a flip flop­per. Lol I have no con­vic­tions whatsoever.”
 

AND
not that this 

even comes *close* to be­ing the most im­por­tant thing right now, but, it’s still got me like,

“As­d­fghjzk­bxvxjzkcblznd­nxkc­snxnxll­skzk­zlzzzzz”
 

—emi­ly duchaine

Flom­mist Emi­ly Duchaine lives in the Pa­cif­ic North­west. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and lis­ten to the Talk­ing Heads. She pre­tends to be a pro­fes­sion­al busi­ness­woman most days. Copy­right © 2019 Emi­ly Duchaine. Biden col­lage by mehal­lo, adapt­ed from a cou­ple 19th cen­tu­ry po­lit­i­cal car­toons of Joseph Kep­pler.

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