My dearest Clara,
I don’t even really like you yet because my balls still haven’t dropped, so please don’t write back – girls have cooties and we can’t risk weakening the front.
I miss my Ninjago Legos and Mountain Dew Code Red. And I forgot to pack my iPod with Eminem’s catalogue on it so I guess I’m stuck listening to this Kid Rock they’re blasting on a circa 1994 boom box. There’s this button labeled “Turbo Bass” and it’s pushed in but I don’t think it actually does anything.
I couldn’t find my red shirt so I had to go with the salmon colored one grandma Fritzi got me for my Bar Mitzvah.
Sincerely,
Trevor
PS: Oh I almost forgot – death to all Jews.
—emily duchaine
Flommist Emily Duchaine lives in the Pacific Northwest. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and listen to the Talking Heads. She pretends to be a professional businesswoman most days. Copyright © 2017 Emily Duchaine. Lyric from.
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