election talk with my dad

Dad:
“Are you gonna go out tonight?”

Me:
“Still try­ing to de­cide, I might wait to see ear­ly polling re­sults. If Hillary is gonna win I’ll just keep it busi­ness as usu­al like the coun­try and just stay home and do some work, but if it looks like Trump’s gonna win I’m gonna need to be around an­tifa to plan the revolution.”

Dad:
“Yeah, de­cide who’s first in line for the guil­lo­tine? See if the con­spir­a­cy the­o­rists are right about re­pur­pos­ing FEMA camps?”

Me:
“At least this elec­tion taught us why Com­mu­nist gov­ern­ments al­ways land on reed­u­ca­tion camps.”

Dad:
“Hey, it IS the an­niver­sary of the Oc­to­ber Revolution.”

Me:
“My friend just post­ed on the con­ve­nience of that tim­ing – I mean, we could just pre­tend Rus­sia was beta test­ing the mod­el and do it right this time.”

Dad:
“Yeah, things are still too good in the sub­urbs for that an­niver­sary party.”

Me:
“Fair enough. Well, let’s talk when the re­sults are com­ing in.”

Dad:
“Cool, we’ll des­ig­nate a meet-up lo­ca­tion if shit goes down – since we all know every­one’s gonna peel them­selves off their Lazy­boys to start a rev­o­lu­tion so we def­i­nite­ly need that plan.”

Me:
“Yes, that is to­tal­ly what is go­ing to hap­pen be­cause every­one said so on Twitter.”

Dad:
“Yes, peo­ple don’t ever say things on Twit­ter they don’t mean.”
 
 

—na­tal­ie michelle

Flom­mist Na­tal­ie Michelle does­n’t have a bio. She just rants. Copy­right © 2016 Na­tal­ie Michelle. Pic­ture source.

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