double feature: aquaman, crusoe

Watched Aqua­man (2018).

It feels like an in­sane­ly ex­pen­sive­ly made ’80s car­toon, and I wish all the suc­cess it de­serves.

Its in­her­ent­ly old-fash­ioned set­up is played 100% straight and doesn’t even try to con­tex­tu­al­ize the ex­is­tence of such a fig­ure in the mod­ern civ­i­liza­tion, some­thing Zach Sny­der failed mis­er­ably with his take on Su­per­man.

In­stead, you get gi­ant oc­to­pus play­ing drums, sharks that shoot lasers, and a charis­mat­ic ma­cho guy who was born in the wrong decade and el­e­vates what was the jok­i­est of joke he­roes in the DC uni­verse to a bona fide badass. 8.5/10
 

I also watched Robin­son Cru­soe on Mars (1964). It was ad­ver­tised as sci­en­tif­i­cal­ly ac­cu­rate but is a full of non­sense by today’s stan­dards.

Its small bud­get is very no­tice­able, as it re­cy­cles the War of the Worlds UFOs and their same shots over and over again. They also hired Adam West but only for about three min­utes. The side­kick may even be gay, though that was prob­a­bly not in­ten­tion­al.

It’s a film that has enough sto­ry log­ic, and is not quite fun­ny-bad. It’s an in­ter­est­ing re­minder of the stan­dard of the sci­ence in pop cul­ture. I rec­om­mend that you see Aqua­man and Robin­son Cru­soe on Mars back to back. 3.5/10
 

—toshi oma­gari

Flom­mist Toshi Oma­gari fights many things, most re­cent of which is the auto-cor­rec­tion of his ti­tle to florist. Copy­right © 2019 Toshi Oma­gari.

MOR D’ARTÍCULOS  MOR FLOMM !

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