I try to be empathetic about this since I was a notorious overexplainer in the past and even though I’ve gotten better, it’s something I’m still working on.
But – sometimes I just want to take my coworker by the shoulders and tell her, “Gurl, you can stop talking. You don’t have to keep explaining yourself. We won the fight. You’re gonna dig us back into a hole. Pump the brakes sister.”
We just had to reinforce a change we made to one of our other coworkers who wasn’t entirely convinced, and we did it, but she kept barreling down the hill repeating what she’d already said in ten more ways.
I know where this comes from and it’s something that absolutely affects women in the workplace far more than men. Someone needs to talk to her and tell her, “Believe in what you say and trust that your voice was heard the first time. Once someone hands you the keys, get in and drive.”
I really don’t know that I ever want to be a manager but it’s stuff like this that makes me think maybe I’d be good at it insofar as being able to give feedback like this from a position of authority. I’m worried that like this will come across as condescending if I try to say it as her peer.
She’s smart and works hard and knows her shit. It’s just obvious she feels like she has to keep defending her position even after everyone has agreed and moved on.
—emily duchaine
Flommist Emily Duchaine lives in the Pacific Northwest. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and listen to the Talking Heads. She pretends to be a professional businesswoman most days. Copyright © 2021 Emily Duchaine. Hedline via Heather.
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