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THE BATTLE FOR MODeRN 1923


  chunks of flommus 

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dem candidates

I prob­a­bly don’t need to tell you how de­press­ing it is for me to have to watch War­ren lose. I’m try­ing to pre­tend I’m less up­set about it than I re­al­ly am.”
—me                

Watch­ing the most in­tel­li­gent and best qual­i­fied per­son lose? Why would that trou­ble you?”
—a good friend

 

If all the can­di­dates got stoned be­fore the next debate:

bernie:
*laugh­ing hysterically*
“Why did I run again?! I’m 78 for cry­ing out loud!”

war­ren:
*bare­ly able to hold to together*
“I don’t know!”

klobuchar:
“Guys, we’re gonna get in trouble …”

buttigieg:
“This isn’t work­ing for me. Maybe I didn’t do it right …”

biden:
“Back in my day, grass wasn’t as po­tent. I re­mem­ber one time when this deal­er named Two Dice …”

stey­er:
“Oh my god my hands are HUGE!”

bloomberg:
“I’m call­ing the police.”

 

 

—emi­ly duchaine

Flom­mist Emi­ly Duchaine lives in the Pa­cif­ic North­west. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and lis­ten to the Talk­ing Heads. She pre­tends to be a pro­fes­sion­al busi­ness­woman most days. Copy­right © 2020 Emi­ly Duchaine.

read en l’ordre cronológi­co

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Der Tung
Posted
Thu 27 Feb 2020

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