building 3

OK

Hear me out you guys.

Se­ri­ous­ly. Gonna blow this whole thing wide open so buck­le up your ass­es.
 

OK .…

(takes deep breath)

So we’ve had all these “fires” late­ly.

But these so called fires are on Earth.

Fire spreads to things it touch­es, does it not?

Fol­low me here?
 

So if the “fires” are on “Earth” and I’m on Earth whey did­n’t I catch fire?
 

an­swer:  
I’m not in the run­ning for a high sped rail line.

In fact, I was *nev­er even asked to be*.
 

BOOM!
 

ver­dict:  
Chem­trail Vac­cine Lasers.
 
 
 
 
 
 

(You’d think that the fact that con­spir­a­cy the­o­ries get more wild­ly fan­tas­ti­cal in di­rect pro­por­tion to how stu­pid the peo­ple spread­ing them are would give its prac­ti­tion­ers at least a mo­ment of pause, but that’s the thing about fuck­ing mo­rons: They’re all con­vinced they are lone ge­nius­es in a sea of ig­no­rants.)

(All the ev­i­dence for weath­er ma­chines, chem­trails, and space-based en­er­gy weapons is there in plain sight, if we’d only just stop think­ing long enough to see it.)
 

This isn’t fun­ny, cute, or ec­cen­tric any­more.

These dil­dos lost their right to drool­ing self-delu­sion when the first measles out­break hit be­cause they read that vac­ci­na­tions weren’t as ef­fec­tive as ac­ti­vat­ed cashews or some oth­er such mind­less garbage.

And if they bail, so be it. Don’t think of it as los­ing a friend so much as in­creas­ing the mean cog­ni­tive av­er­age of your peer group over­all.
 

—ja­son malm­berg

Flom­mist Ja­son Malm­berg is a sim­ple man who be­lieves in brown liquor and small dogs. He also makes art some­times. Copy­right © 2018 Ja­son Malm­berg.

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