i was a dumb kid in that way that only true geniuses can be

Now’s as dumb a time as any for me to men­tion that when I was a kid I didn’t un­der­stand the idea of the Un­known Sol­dier, think­ing he was, like, just some dude.

So,

I had to stay af­ter class in the first grade, Bart Simp­son style, for in good faith putting to­geth­er a whole pre­sen­ta­tion on poster board about how if we know all the sol­diers who ARE known, then by process of elim­i­na­tion we should thus be able to iden­ti­fy the Un­known Soldier. 

I wasn’t try­ing to make light of it. I thought I was help­ful­ly solv­ing it.
 

Also,

sor­ry to ask a dumb ques­tion but I’m not military.

If Hegseth even­tu­al­ly gets im­peached and re­moved, can we reap­point all the peo­ple he fired and forced out?

 

—ja­son malmberg

Flom­mist Ja­son Malm­berg is a sim­ple man who be­lieves in brown liquor and small dogs. He also makes art some­times. Copy­right © 2026 Ja­son Malm­berg. Pic­tured: Clip from Chuck Jones’, For­ward March Hare, 1953, watch.

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