passionately balls-deep in a douglas fir

 
Dude in
                     
Boyz II Men’s
                     
cov­er of Let It Snow
                     
sounds like he’s
                     
def­i­nite­ly gonna fuck the tree.
                     

 

Christ­mas 84 was a good one and my mam played this in the house a lot that year. Still holds up too – tho the deer be like “leave me out of this y’all.”
 

Jin­gle All The Way (1996)
is a great xmas movie about Phil Hart­man get­tin’ with Hot Lo­cal MILFs.

Well, all ex­cept for Tom Han­ks’ wife.

OK, so Phil has a good game ban­gin sad moms that bake a lot. Fine. More pow­er to him. 

But no way is he not do­ing a risk as­sess­ment be­fore try­na plow Duchess Hanks.
 

Lindy West was ab­solute­ly right about Love.

Ac­tu­al­ly it’s hard to re­sist the sen­so­ry al­lure of how much hap­pi­er we all were in 2003, with our com­pact discs and whatnot.

Mar­tine Mc­Cutcheon, text me on my Side­kick bb.
 

New York’s hottest club is the rapid covid test line. This place has every­thing: 3 hour wait times, a dou­ble parked car with it’s alarm go­ing off, 2+ cry­ing ba­bies, an old white dad say­ing “THIS IS RIDICU­LOUS” every 5 min­utes, a con­struc­tion site blow­ing saw­dust on everyone

— katie jo(hantgen) (@katiejoyofosho) De­cem­ber 16, 2021

 
Drove up to Ro­seville to xmas shop.

The amount of masks seen dropped like 80%.

Also saw two pick­ups with Trump stickers.

So Omi­cron, if you’re listening …
 

READ THIS NOW:

It’s sober­ing and hor­ri­fy­ing and re­al­ly ex­haust­ing to think about how many aw­ful delu­sion­al peo­ple are strain­ing our health­care sys­tem and the good peo­ple that have to deal with their ob­sti­nance which they some­times ex­press violently. 

This is the cost of dis­in­for­ma­tion and there’s no way to be ac­com­mo­dat­ing to these people.
 

And yes, this is real. It is not a Photoshop. 

I thought the MA­G­As loved “telling it like it is” with “no more bullshit.”

Well, this is what that looks like.
 

I am an learned adult with a mort­gage so nat­u­ral­ly I’m ob­sessed with ever-thin­ner cock­tail glasses. 

So in The Rev­o­lu­tion I’ll be first against the wall and I’ll be like 

“ok yeah, that’s fair”

 

—ja­son malmberg

Flom­mist Ja­son Malm­berg is a sim­ple man who be­lieves in brown liquor and small dogs. He also makes art some­times. Copy­right © 2021 Ja­son Malmberg.

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