“I probably don’t need to tell you how depressing it is for me to have to watch Warren lose. I’m trying to pretend I’m less upset about it than I really am.”
—me
“Watching the most intelligent and best qualified person lose? Why would that trouble you?”
—a good friend
If all the candidates got stoned before the next debate:
bernie:
*laughing hysterically*
“Why did I run again?! I’m 78 for crying out loud!”
warren:
*barely able to hold to together*
“I don’t know!”
klobuchar:
“Guys, we’re gonna get in trouble …”
buttigieg:
“This isn’t working for me. Maybe I didn’t do it right …”
biden:
“Back in my day, grass wasn’t as potent. I remember one time when this dealer named Two Dice …”
steyer:
“Oh my god my hands are HUGE!”
bloomberg:
“I’m calling the police.”
—emily duchaine
Flommist Emily Duchaine lives in the Pacific Northwest. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and listen to the Talking Heads. She pretends to be a professional businesswoman most days. Copyright © 2020 Emily Duchaine.
MOR D’ARTÍCULOS MOR FLOMM !
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ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
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