1
Me:
I wonder if I really did have mono …
Aaron:
What? Oh, MONO.
Me:
What’d you think I said?
Aaron:
I thought you said ‘Bono.’
2
A surefire way to shorten
your wait time on the phone
is to put a bunch of candy
in your mouth.
Customer Service Guy:
Hello my name is Vin, thank you
for calling Office Depot
how may I help you
this evening?
Me:
*spits nonpareils everywhere*
Apples are especially effective too.
—emily duchaine
Flommist Emily Duchaine lives in the Pacific Northwest. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and listen to the Talking Heads. She pretends to be a professional businesswoman most days. Copyright © 2018 Emily Duchaine.
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