It all reeks of privilege.
I’m willing to work together but what I’m not willing to do is just go along with whatever they want because they all got woke 18 months ago and decided to turn politics into a traveling music festival where they get tattoos and overdraft their bank accounts giving political donations and in the meantime fail to read the rules on how to actually register to vote and make sure their vote is counted.
—Emily Duchaine, a poet laureate
I dance in my job. They tell me to stop.
Do I stop? No.
Do they fire me? Yes. Do I care? No.
Why? (clap, clap, spin) because I’m a dancer!
Del Taco should allow me to bring in a Mexcian Pizza from Taco Bell to supplement my meal until they get their act together and start offering their own.
They haven’t tried to stop me but the anxiety is too much.
The Warby Parker of direct-to-video Porky’s sequels
White Castle fries only come in one size.
No longer factually accurate but still fun to say.
Cleveland’s Cuyahoga River in 1967, before it famously caught fire
and before the creation of the EPA and passage of the Clean Water Act.
Source, info.
The Warby Parker of divorced uncles
could use a personal phone call
if you have the time
Taco Johns Adventure Team is GO.
The Warby Parker of more or less agreeable downmarket brie
“Kramer, this was Jon Voight’s Fleshlight.”
—jason malmberg
Flommist Jason Malmberg is a simple man who believes in brown liquor and small dogs. He also makes art sometimes. Copyright © 2017 Jason Malmberg.
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