Over the past 6 months or so I have been battling with my mental and physical health.
I’ve been coping with my depression as well as dealing with my diagnosis of Type 1 Diabetes. It was a huge physical, spiritual, and financial blow to me to get this disease so randomly. It made me realize my mortality and my existence as a human even more so, and that at any given moment if I do not take care of myself, my life could change drastically.
During this time I have reflected on my surrounds, people I have associated with, past traumas from my childhood, and planning my future. My mind has been on overdrive, and my body has become numb.
I’ve realized that I never felt comfortable asking for help, nor do I ever really reach out to people unless I really need it. I am stubborn and prefer to rely on myself for everything. But now, given my circumstances lately, I have had to admit to myself that it is ok to ask for help and support. I think a part of me feels like I will be shamed or not taken seriously, like I have so before in the past.
Life can be hard, and no one should or can carry all the weight at once. I have been through hell and back, and know that I will conquer this other mountain climb in my life. This hurdle feels like it’s taking forever, and I know I need to be patient with myself.
For those of you out there who also suffer from depression, just know that you are not alone, and that you have to be patient with yourself. We are all in this together as human beings. We are all here to live and learn through our suffering and happiness.
—amanda layng martinez
Flommist Amanda Layng Martinez is a graphic designer. She like cats, tea, not wearing a bra, peeing in public, and ‘eating as much as I can before I feel full.’ Copyright © 2016 Amanda Layng Martinez.
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