1.
My neighbor friend and myself are chatting by our community pool (located right across from my house), while our girls swim around in the pool. All of a sudden my daughter jumps out.
E: Mommy, I need to go potty! (looking towards the house)
Neighbor: Honey, there is a restroom right here (pointing in the direction of the poolside restrooms)
E: Mommy, I think I want to go potty at home
Me: Sure!
Neighbor: You are so lucky. It’s like having your private pool without the maintenance.
Me: Suddenly we hear someone screaming.
Neighbor: Is that E calling for you?
Me: I think so.
I rush out thinking it is some kind of emergency. Or else why would she call for me knowing I am by the pool? Note: at least part of our neighborhood heard her yelling for me. It had to be an emergency, right?
I enter the house and rush up the stairs to her bathroom where her voice originates.
Me: Are you okay? What happened?
E: My poop looks different than it normally does.
Me: REALLY???
2.
E is doing her math worksheet – multiplication by 7. All her answers are wrong.
Me: How did you come up with these answers?
E: Well, I started with 7×6=49 and just went with that for the rest
3.
Before I hop into the shower in the morning, I remind E, who is sitting on the potty, to brush and get dressed after she’s done. I get in and out of the shower and that girl is still sitting where I left her.
Me: What is the matter? Are you not done going potty?
E: I think something will eventually come out
4.
Next morning, #3 repeats itself till I get into the shower. Suddenly I hear her calling for me in the same tone of desperation and pitch as mentioned in #1. Since this time around I think I am smarter, I ignore thinking it will stop.
The yelling continues for about 5 minutes. I begin to think it might really be an emergency. Also, because I don’t want my neighbors to start complaining. I turn off the shower, barely wrap a towel around myself and rush out towards her bathroom where she still sits on the potty, dangling her feet.
Me: What is the matter?
E: Were you running on the treadmill?
Me: You were yelling for me for that? Why does it even matter?
E: Oh, I was just wondering …
5.
We are listening to songs. “Abhi tow party shuru hui hai” starts playing.
E: Mommy, mommy, I have to tell you something.
Me: What?
E: Last weekend when I was at this party with daddy, the grownups were all singing this song.
Me: That’s cool. Are you sure they were singing and not dancing?
E: Yes, they were singing. I think one of the aunties said “abhi tow party shuru hui hain” and they all started singing the song.
Me: Cool! Did you dance? (because she ALWAYS dances to this song)
E: No.
Me: Well, did you sing along with them or let them know you know the song?
E: No, because the women were asking the men if they were dating anyone.
And it’s only Wednesday.
Wine? Yes, please!
—mala paul
Flommist Mala Paul is a protégé of the goddess of ten hands. Form to formless all in a day’s job. A mother, designer, dancer, foodie, fashionista, blogger, who is always ready to be the change. Copyright © 2016 Mala Paul.
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