george washington, jedi

I’m pret­ty sure pub­lic school only taught me his­tor­i­cal mythology. 

I cer­tain­ly don’t blame my teach­ers, they meant well and any hard truths would of been met with in­dif­fer­ence by a lack­lus­ter schol­ar. The cru­el irony of ag­ing is that you even­tu­al­ly have to pay to re­learn lessons that were once of­fered freely in your youth. 

Re­cent stud­ies have George Lu­cas ‘pre­queled’ the hell out of Amer­i­can History. 

Ben­jamin Franklin was a sex sym­bol,
Alexan­der Hamil­ton was a mas­sive troll (us­ing his quill in­stead of our cur­rent it­er­a­tion: The com­ment board),
and John Adams was the bor­ing taskmas­ter that did all the work. 

The orig­i­nal nar­ra­tives are still ro­man­tic but only if I ig­nore the midichlo­ri­ans that Gen­er­al Wash­ing­ton seemed im­bued with. Yes, George Wash­ing­ton was an ac­tu­al Jedi.
 
 

—louis her­nan­dez

Flom­mist Louis Her­dan­dez is ob­sessed with go­ing Bauhaus and be­com­ing The Ma­chine. Prefer­ably a drill press. Copy­right © 2016 Louis Her­nan­dez. Ben­jamin Franklin trans­fer print on a cre­me­ware bowl, source.

MOR D’ARTÍCULOS  MOR FLOMM !

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