chunks of flommus
SUBSCRIBE! FEEDLY RSS EMAIL

how to win arguments on the internet

So I’m basically an expert on this subject, so I’m posting it here as a public service. Even made a detailed analog pencil-rendered infographic:

Infographc_winarguments

Step 1. Read the entire thread.
If the thread is like, a hundred years long, it’s probably better not to — but you’re choosing your battles carefully anyway, right? This way you’ll know what has already been said.

Step 2. Think of something really clever.
Like a wizard wolf doing super laser splits. Or a uniquely poignant sentiment on the subject at hand.

Step 3. Type that sucker out!
Write like the wind! You might need some coffee.

Step 4. Hit enter to destroy your opponent.
HAHAHA YOU’RE IN MY WORLD NOW.

Step 5. Close thread and walk away victorious.
I make myself do this for at least a while before going back to read any responses. It’s ideal to have a little ego boost right before having a bunch of strangers call you a fat idiot in a public space.

I hope you guys found this helpful.

—bwargh von modnar