wat the ‘rules’ have gotten us

·  Women bash­ing oth­er women for their choice of how to do an on­line protest, and how their protest is some­how “bet­ter”

·  Women bash­ing oth­er women for their appearance

·  Women bash­ing oth­er women for com­ing for­ward with their ex­pe­ri­ences of sex­u­al as­sault be­cause it “should be kept pri­vate” or “how do we know she’s not lying?”

·  Women bash­ing oth­er women for not tak­ing no for an an­swer, or for not giv­ing men ex­u­ber­ant praise for be­ing ba­sic de­cent humans

·  Women just bash­ing oth­er women
 

This is just a small cross sec­tion of the tru­ly sad, aw­ful, mad­den­ing things I’ve seen women post about each oth­er since last Thurs­day – just a few days – af­ter a par­tic­u­lar­ly in­tense, painful week for most of us, even.

We all know and see the is­sues we face be­cause of many men’s ac­tions and the pa­tri­ar­chal so­ci­ety and “rules” that have got­ten us to this point. 

But are we pay­ing at­ten­tion to our­selves as well? To how we’re treat­ing fel­low women? Be­cause it’s pret­ty damn ugly and some­times even more upsetting. 

You’d think we’d be about sup­port­ing each oth­er and help­ing each oth­er out. In­stead, all I see is women be­ing nasty to each oth­er, gaslight­ing oth­er women, and ba­si­cal­ly turn­ing what could be a time of heal­ing and com­mu­ni­ty into an­oth­er round of ex­haust­ing bat­tle with zero pos­i­tive outcome.

We know what we ex­pect of men and how we need them to do bet­ter. And we must ab­solute­ly hold them to that and ask that they con­tin­ue ramp­ing up their sup­port and aware­ness to the is­sues be­ing dis­cussed right now. 

But what about what we ex­pect of our­selves when it comes to deal­ing with each oth­er? When are we go­ing to ex­pect bet­ter of ourselves?
 
 

—kim­ber­ly a. morales

Flom­mist Kim­ber­ly A. Morales is a food and well­ness blog­ger, and pa­tron saint of cats. Copy­right © 2018 Kim­ber­ly A. Morales.

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