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THE BATTLE FOR MODeRN 1923


  chunks of flommus 

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This is the swamp. it’s swampier than ever.

It’s all a sham, man. 

Y’all are just ad­dict­ed to the two par­ty charade. 

Both par­ties are two sides of the same coin, mannnnnnn.”
 

Keep a box of match­es on you at all times. 

If any­one from the Green Par­ty ap­proach­es you in any way, calm­ly pull it out and sober­ly throw lit match­es at them un­til they dis­ap­pear back up the ass of their own obliv­i­ous smug privilege.

Yeah.

We just proved once and for all what gi­ant fuck­ing id­iots peo­ple that say shit like that are. Nev­er again do they get to yam­mer that bull­shit unchecked.

Yup. Own it. 

Again, you guys get no free band­width here any­more. Take it to Square­space. Start a blog. I no longer care enough to give oxy­gen to that shit.

As for you ’pub­li­cans, your shit­ty con­ser­v­a­tive church gets zero cred­it for giv­ing away 100 bags of gro­ceries to the poor at Christ­mas when all its mem­bers vote for reps who kill health­care for mil­lions of children. 

We see you and so does your God. Fake-ass christians.

It’s also great that you learned the word “oli­garchy” in 2016 and start­ed us­ing it in a way that sug­gest­ed every­one else was just learn­ing it too (hel­la woke!) but check this out: We al­ready knew and your stu­pid self­ish non­sense helped bring about oli­garchy on a scale not seen since The Gild­ed Age.

Now fuck back off to your ayahuas­ca cir­cle and leave adult top­ics to grown folks.

 

—ja­son malmberg

Flom­mist Ja­son Malm­berg is a sim­ple man who be­lieves in brown liquor and small dogs. He also makes art some­times. Copy­right © 2017 Ja­son Malm­berg. Pic­tured: A Los An­ge­les oil dis­trict, cir­ca 1895–1901; Thomas Nast, The ‘Brains,’ 1871. 

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Der Tung
Posted
Sat 2 Dec 2017

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