these past few months

Through this a blue rose
it will bloom again from a with­ered state

Hop­ing I can wash this away
be­fore I leave any of this sick­ness touch­ing an­oth­er soul

 
 

Hop­ing for em­pa­thy dressed in ac­knowl­edge­ment

I beg that they are only
lost upon an air­way
and for one day they will reach the ears to be heard from

All I can wish for
is to not be what I was be­fore
voice­less
flight­less
with­in a in­escapable trap
Caught by my own un­heard cries
that were let out that night un­ac­knowl­edged

 
 

It is not enough to pro­vide peace
when I find my­self once again
with time to my thoughts

These out­looks don’t last long enough
not enough to get me through the day

So I walk into a lake
be­tween the moun­tains with­in my life
seek­ing to cleanse away what has dark­ened my fur

 
 

It wakes me up through­out the night
mak­ing the mo­ments
awake and aware
so hard
to push these mem­o­ries
to a far enough place
so I will be able to func­tion

Be­cause it is a sick­ness
that has been lay­ing on my soul

I spend time imag­ing my soul
as a white wolf
full of dirt tar­nish­ing my light

 
 

And
I am done be­ing weak

kept
and bro­ken

 
 

—al­ley schef­f­ki

Flom­mist Al­ley Schef­f­ki is 22 years young, ‘I am the blue rose. Dies ist ein wun­sch für frei­heit.’ Copy­right © 2016 Al­ley Schef­f­ki.

Pho­tog­ra­phy by Danielle Steers, hair and make­up by Casey Calla­han.

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