spoiler alert

And I have de­cid­ed that I am of­fi­cial­ly a can­tan­ker­ous old prick. 

Lost a friend to glioblas­toma {rest in peace Rich Saxe}, and I’m not sure I feel so great my­self. I’m not sure where this is go­ing. This world, the gov­ern­ment, my health – 

I just don’t kno any­thing since Face­book got rid of Trend­ing News. 

All I have left is DSCDP, and I’m not even plac­ing any bets.

The house al­ways wins. I’m just lookin’ for that girl that I was sup­posed to meet, and I’m pret­ty sure I missed that last bus. 

Food? Wat is food right now? I need to read­just my palate, to be honest. 

I just don’t try new things as much cause I keep find­ing my­self fight­ing up­hill against the dra­ma ma­chine of eat­ing out in an Amer­i­can rur­al town.

Tacos fres­co. It’s the ‘health­i­er’ way to or­der Taco Bell. I won­der if TB even has gua­camole? I’m sure that I’ve nev­er seen it there be­fore … be­hind the pow­dered onion salts? They used to have weird fla­vors in the pack­ets some­times, like too much of this or some­thing went rancid.

syn-Propanethial-S-ox­ide. ‘The mol­e­cule that gives onions and onion pow­der their strong flavor.’

There’s a park near­by with a cool wood­en rock­et­ship struc­ture that’s taped off for con­struc­tion, out of the wind. 

If I can’t find my por­tal gun, I still have a tele­port tat­too … shit, al­ready used that. Uh, is that Ral­phie May in a dress? I thingk ICE put some­one in mah frink …

Spoil­er alert: We don’t win. 

We were fight­ing our­selves the whole time. They just wait­ed un­til the con­fu­sion was boil­ing ju­u­ust right, then 

The Je­sus Bomb, is what they called it. I’m sure he’d be pissed to know that.
 

—rob­bie edmonds

Flom­mist Rob­bie Ed­monds would love to sit down with you and dis­cuss his the­o­ries of mind-swap­ping and time trav­el, but it ap­pears as if he, as his cat, just left to stop him­self from do­ing so … AGAIN! Copy­right © 2018 Rob­bie Edmonds.

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