I hate that the conversation on psychiatric health care meds is so all or nothing.
You get people on the “psychiatric drugs are harmful” end who want to make sure nobody takes them, and you get people on the “psychiatric drugs saved my fucking life” end who are certain the people on the other end are just able-bodied and don’t understand. Very few people want to consider that both experiences are valid and real.
About this time a year ago, I was going through Zoloft withdrawal. I had been at 150 mg for almost a year. This is something I have told multiple medical professionals or medical adjacents since, and the response is pretty universally “Jesus Christ, what fool put you on THAT MUCH Zoloft?!” And as I was on it, I fucking h a t e d it.
People that haven’t taken SSRIs don’t know – there’s no reason to think about it – but withdrawal from these drugs is unpleasant, and Zoloft is particularly severe for its level of impact. I had symptoms for two months. I couldn’t come off the drug until I didn’t have a job to go to anymore. Withdrawal turned to depression. I came off the drug with worse panic attacks than what I went on for. I STILL have cognition problems.
But you know what makes this damage especially terrible? It was completely and wholly avoidable. Professionals KNOW Zoloft dosing is about size, not severity of symptoms. Professionals KNOW symptoms going from weekly to rarely is good enough. This professional had my spit genetically tested, and KNEW that Zoloft was not genetically a good fit for me, but kept me on it anyway because it wouldn’t make me suicidal. Just dead on my feet. Just dead between the ears.
There are tools and resources to administer these drugs properly. When administered properly, they are life-changing.
And I feel like – in the mentally ill community – we only want validation for our own experiences with care and recovery. But each path is so unique and personal. We would do better if we made space for people to discuss their experiences, without dictating from there what treatment others should seek.
—melony ppenosyne
For mor on this topic, please listen to Melony – our guest – on FLoMMCAST 8
Flommist Melony Ppenosyne is a writer and weird artist type. In the last year alone, she’s traveled to Virginia as a competing poet, co-written a play on mental illness that is presently being produced, and crafted a published essay checking the privilege and scope of art galleries. Copyright © 2017 Melony Ppenosyne. Photo by Danger Holly.
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