I resent the fact that I can’t be on my phone in public without fear that some wag with a camera and rudimentary knowledge of Photoshop will turn it into a social statement.
I know it’s an American tradition to start The Hating and declare something The Devil every few years. And this newest bout of technophobia really blows.
I get it.
It took over a half-decade to pry the flipmode phone from my resentful little grip. I miss buttons. I hate touch-screens.
But, I can carry in one hand the sum of the world’s knowledge and can access it through a few finger taps – how can that not be cool?
I used to lie abed, dreaming of stuff like this. If I had a hoverboard I would literally be in scifi territory. So what if having a little computer I can take with me everywhere is preventing me from interacting with my fellow humans?
What would I be doing if I wasn’t on my phone?
I’d be reading with earbuds in my ears. And if I didn’t have that? I’d probably find some other way to amuse myself that didn’t involve talking to other people. Because I don’t feel like making new friends everywhere I go.
If my phone has become a barrier to social communication **SPOILER ALERT** it’s because I have purposefully chosen to make it so.
It’s my right to amuse myself as I see fit. It doesn’t matter how important my actions on the phone are, whether receiving a life-or-death text or just playing candy crush, that’s my goddamn choice.
I don’t need to be guilted into interacting with people. There. Make a Photoshop campaign out of that.
—rachel gardner
Flommist Rachel Gardner currently writes weird fiction with a horror bent. Find her at Greetings from the Wasteland, which updates weekly. Copyright © 2016 Rachel Gardner.
Illustrations by flommist Danny Joe Gibson. Copyright © DJG.
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