In the decade of the Nineteen Hundred and Eighties, most music videos took place in courtrooms.
This afforded lots of opportunities for mugging, gooferies, juries lip-syncing choruses, and that tropiest of 80s courtroom video tropes: The stuffy old judge who gives in to the jams by the end and finds himself singing or clapping along. Almost always, the video ends in musical bedlam with everyone in the room crunking out to the tune.
This will be a post to celebrate these videos.
El Debarge’s Who’s Johnny seems to be a courtroom video by default, as if they had a set and no better ideas so whatever. It does get bonus points for finding a way to introduce clips from the movie it soundtracks as videotape ‘evidence’ in the courtroom.
I have no proof of this and the internet is not backing me up at all, but I am convinced Sir William made a dozen videos in courtrooms between 1983 and 86. This one is unique in that the courtroom is like a Johnny Rockets in space or something.
I could have sworn Rodney Dangerfield was in this one playing the judge, but I think that about everything.
(Watch till the very end for a Joe Piscopo cameo)
(Yes, we lived at one time in a world where there was value in a two second Joe Piscopo cameo in your video)
This is from 1976. Georgie was a pioneer in the field of courtroom music videos.
The Trial, from The Wall.
If you were a child in 1984, an older relative would try to bond with you by making a joke about how he should be called Girl Geor– HOLY SHIT BLACKFACE!!?!?!??
Sammy Hagar’s video only half-takes place in a courtroom but it’s the better part of the video. I always smile when the judge hangs the Han Solo action figure.
Had Sammy disappeared in Cabo after this song – never to sing again – he would have been a True Legend.
A Rod Stewart jam literally nobody remembers from a movie nobody knows if they saw or not from the summer of 1986.
Perhaps we were all too enamored of Top Gunning around with Howard the Duck, Cobra, and The Golden Child to enjoy a courtroom romance that summer?
Probably. Also this song seems far dirtier now than it did when I was 12.
Ohhhhhhhh, this may be why I was confused
It’s ’92 but in Country years that’s actually 1987.
Eventually the 80s ended.
But we still have courtrooms.
—jason malmberg
Flommist Jason Malmberg is a simple man who believes in brown liquor and small dogs. He also makes art sometimes. Copyright © 2017 Jason Malmberg. Additional finds by Ken Koch, Lelania Arlene, and Steve Mehallo.
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