“Can’t get autism if you die from polio.”
—meme
I just want you to know from the very fibers of the cockles of my being that if you encounter an anti-vaxxer anywhere in your sphere there is no shame at all in making prolonged and satisfying fun of their white-person dreadlocks,
their ‘career’ as a yoga DJ in Oregon, or any of the other seemingly trivial facets of their utter and thorough uselessness.
Your stoutness of character will rightly give you pause as you wonder
“are these jabs a bit offsides?”
and I want you to know that it’s ok to mute that part of your makeup and give it to them full-throated on every offensive front of their identity, large and small.
Kids are dying because poorly xeroxed hippies have so little to recommend themselves that they had to go and make amplified overbroadcast sniveling Luddite ignorance a leading component of their identity.
They should be driven back into the dense humid cloud of their patchouli stank with as much volume as you can put behind it. Fuck literally every one of them.
—jason malmberg
Flommist Jason Malmberg is a simple man who believes in brown liquor and small dogs. He also makes art sometimes. Copyright © 2019 Jason Malmberg.
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