If
an
airline
insists
on
sitting
me
next
to the literal devil in toddler form
screaming at Mariah Carey’s pitch
at
400,000 db
the entire flight
without warning
the least
they
could
do
is roll that booze cart by more than once.
‘Where do you live?’
‘Omaha, Nebraska.’
‘That sounds awful.’
‘Well, it’s no Paris.’
‘So you live on a farm?’
‘Nope. Omaha’s a city.’
‘Oh! So are you from there?’
‘No.’
‘So then why do you live there?’
‘How much is your rent?’
‘What?’
‘How much is your rent?’
‘I pay $3,300 for a two bedroom apartment.’
‘I pay $680 for a six bedroom house.’
‘Holy shit really?!!!’
‘Yep. That’s why I live there.’
‘That makes sense.’
Yeah most days I’m like ‘wait why am I still here?’
Then I buy something and
I’m like, ‘oh yeah.’
—natalie michelle
Flommist Natalie Michelle doesn’t have a bio. She just rants. Copyright © 2017 Natalie Michelle. Foto by mehallo.
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