1.
Wake up, go to the bathroom.
2.
Stand there considering whether to flush or not due to the drought.
3.
Immediately start thinking about water shortage and climate change and wondering, what to do.
4.
Go to kitchen cut open a fresh bag of coffee dumping it into the coffee container.
5.
Immediately start thinking about organic farming and fair trade practices in the world and wondering, what to do.
6.
Stand there considering whether the bag is recyclable or not.
7.
Immediately start thinking of landfills, how wasteful humans are, and wondering, what to do.
8.
Turn on the T.V.
9.
Immediately start thinking about what tragedy is going on, maybe another shooting, pondering if I should get rid of my guns and wondering, what to do.
10.
Get dressed.
11.
Immediately start thinking about how I can’t wear synthetics or fleece lined clothing anymore because the fibers harm the ocean and wondering, what to do.
12.
Get in my low mileage car.
13.
Immediately start thinking about off-shore drilling, oil spills, pollution and wondering, what to do.
14.
Drive away seeing oil on my driveway.
15.
Immediately start thinking about it eventually leeching into the waterways, killing fish in the rivers, and wondering, what to do.
16.
Get on the congested freeway.
17.
Immediately start thinking of how much smog is in the air and wondering, what to do.
18.
Listen to the radio in my car.
19.
Immediately start thinking about violence, oil spills, civil wars, rape, murder, child molestation, massive corporate profits, greed, and poverty, and wondering, what to do.
20.
Drop my child off at school.
21.
Immediately start thinking about her collapsing school and her teachers needing school supplies because they have no funding and wondering, what to do.
22.
Pulling my car into the brand new multi-million dollar parking facility right nextdoor to a condemned low income housing unit.
23.
Immediately start thinking of developer’s greed, income inequality, inflated housing costs, homelessness, and wondering, what to do.
24.
Go to lunch.
25.
Immediately start thinking about getting my food in styrofoam and plastic containers, how the restaurant doesn’t recycle, and wondering, what to do.
26.
Leave work, pick up my child from school.
27.
Immediately start thinking about replaying my entire day in reverse and wondering, what to do.
28.
Fix dinner.
29.
Immediately start thinking about rinsing off packaging to put into recycling, landfills, litter, waste, and wondering, what to do.
30.
Watch the news.
31.
Immediately start thinking about violence, climate change, corporate greed, lying politicians, racism, rape, misogyny, hate, environmental destruction, homelessness, animal extinctions and wondering, what to do.
32.
Put my child to bed.
33.
Immediately start thinking about the scary future she has in front of her and wondering, what to do.
34.
Go to the bathroom.
35.
Stand there considering whether to flush or not due to drought.
36.
Immediately start thinking about water shortage and climate change and wondering, what to do.
37.
Go to bed.
38.
Immediately start thinking if I will be able to sleep tonight and wondering …
39.
Let’s change the word ‘gun’ to ‘abortion,’ then the right would resort to any means to control them.
40.
Uhhh, how can a borderline obese old man with a cowardly draft-dodging ‘bone spur’ run anywhere?
41.
Maybe he had a ‘bone spur,’ Donald.
42.
Iowa grants gun permits to the blind.
Denying them “violates the Americans with Disabilities Act.” Really? Soooo does that mean they should be able to, say, oh I don’t know, drive a car? Fly a plane? Pilot a boat? Work as a flight control operator? Be a fireman, cop, surgeon?
43.
We need to keep the mentally ill from getting guns.
Wait, what? You just overturned an Obama bill keeping guns out of the hands of the mentally ill.
44.
So let me see if I understand this. We are putting tariffs on steel and aluminum because of China. Our #1 importer of steel and aluminum both is — ? Wrong, Canada. Yes Canada, our trading partner. China isn’t even in the top 4. So we punish our trading partners to produce here where steel and aluminum will be more expensive? Who will pay those increased costs? Yeah you, so much for your “yuge” tax break.
45.
No wonder FedEx prices are higher than the U S Post Office. 26% member discount? They rest of us cover that discount.
46.
This proud young warrior puts us all to shame.
47.
These ‘kids’ are only about 5 years younger than Alexander Hamilton was when he signed The Declaration of Independence. They aren’t “kids” they are the ass kicking builders of our future. Hamilton was 21 years old!
48.
Powdered wigs! Oh my god, that’s why people think they were old men, powdered wigs! They all wore white powdered wigs for their portraits!
49.
I propose we change the name to: ‘The Founding Young Men’ – here’s a little list for all the old white guys who think The Founding Fathers were a bunch of old white guys just like them. Their ages in 1776:
Alexander Hamilton, 21
Thomas Lynch, Jr., 26
Edward Rutledge, 26
George Walton, 27
Thomas Heyward, Jr., 29
Benjamin Rush, 30
Elbridge Gerry, 31
Thomas Jefferson, 33
Thomas Stone, 33
William Hooper, 34
Arthur Middleton, 34
James Wilson, 34
Samuel Chase, 35
William Paca, 35
John Penn, 35
George Clymer, 37
Thomas Nelson, Jr., 37
Charles Carroll, 38
Francis Hopkinson, 38
Carter Braxton, 39
John Hancock, 39
John Adams, 40
Button Gwinnett, 41
Francis Lightfoot Lee, 41
Robert Morris, 42
Thomas McKean, 42
George Read, 42
Samuel Huntington, 44
Richard Henry Lee, 44
Robert Treat Paine, 45
Richard Stockton, 45
William Williams, 45
Josiah Bartlett, 46
Joseph Hewes, 46
George Ross, 46
William Whipple, 46
Caesar Rodney, 47
William Ellery, 48
Oliver Wolcott, 49
Abraham Clark, 50
Benjamin Harrison, 50
Lewis Morris, 50
George Wythe, 50
John Morton, 51
Lyman Hall, 52
James Rivington, 52
Samuel Adams, 53
John Witherspoon, 53
Roger Sherman, 55
James Smith, 56
Lewis Nicola, 59
Philip Livingston, 60
George Taylor, 60
Matthew Thornton, 62
Francis Lewis, 63
John Hart, 65
Stephen Hopkins, 69
Benjamin Franklin, 70
50.
Vanity, thy name was syphilis.
Gunna be a long night.
—Louis Warfield
Flommist Louis Warfield is a fabrication specialist who runs the award-winning Rhino Design Studio, “You dream it, we’ll build it.” Copyright © 2018 Louis Warfield.
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