“I drive from coast to coast, and this shit is flat to me. I’m just saying. I drive from Florida to California all the time, and it’s flat to me. I do not go up and down at a 360-degree angle, and all that stuff about gravity, have you looked outside Atlanta lately and seen all these buildings? You mean to tell me that China is under us? China is under us? It’s not. The world is flat.”
Look you guys,
the Earth is round.
I know that, you know that.
Having said that,
maybe we could just let Shaq have this one thing.
We don’t have to upend cartography or anything.
It will still be round to us.
Just let Shaq live on a flat Earth.
—jason malmberg
Flommist Jason Malmberg is a simple man who believes in brown liquor and small dogs. He also makes art sometimes. Copyright © 2017 Jason Malmberg.
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