had no goddamn idea

I’m host­ing a Har­ry Pot­ter themed triv­ia tonight at a fam­i­ly friend­ly brew­pub and good lord …

Re­vis­it­ing these sto­ries, there is so much that is in­sane­ly fucked up. 

Yes, I will 💯 owe up to be­ing a fan.

But things start­ed to wear on me long be­fore JK out­ed her­self as a trans­pho­be – sim­ply be­cause I felt like the sto­ry got stale, and look­ing back on the con­tent there’s a lot that’s big yikes.

Like, it was stu­pid for James and Lily to not have a portkey in their house ready for them to both touch while one of them was hold­ing Har­ry so they could es­cape im­me­di­ate­ly if Volde­mort showed up.

Portkeys don’t quite work that way (they’re reg­u­lat­ed by the Min­istry, etc.). They could have ap­pa­rat­ed though. Boom, prob­lem solved.

Snape was an in­cel for sure. James was also a huge ass­hole. Lily was basic.

And these kids were re­peat­ed­ly put in mor­tal dan­ger con­stant­ly and not even nec­es­sar­i­ly by the bad wizards! 

Like, it was done intentionally!

In the fourth film they lit­er­al­ly tie four kids to the bot­tom of a lake! 

For a game! That does­n’t ac­tu­al­ly matter!

 

—emi­ly duchaine

Flom­mist Emi­ly Duchaine lives in the Pa­cif­ic North­west. She likes to drink mead, learn about sharks, and lis­ten to the Talk­ing Heads. She pre­tends to be a pro­fes­sion­al busi­ness­woman most days. Copy­right © 2023 Emi­ly Duchaine.

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