eat, sex, can we have more beer?

“Hi, I’m Randy and I’ll be your serv­er this evening. Our spe­cial is San­ta Fe Chick­en Ranch Mo­ji­to Pop­pers but I wouldn’t sug­gest this since it’s very gar­licky and may im­pede your fuck­style lat­er. SO, who wants water?”
 

I’m kind of amazed at how many grown men I’ve seen sug­gest that there’s no rea­son be­yond sex for a man and woman to eat din­ner to­geth­er these past 24 hours in the wake of Mike Pence’s creepy non­sense about his wife.

That shit was tired when Bil­ly Crys­tal said it 28 years ago and it’s even dumb­er now.

Mike Pence re­fus­es to have a meal with a woman, un­less his wife is present. When some Mus­lim women say sim­i­lar about men, GOP at­tacks Islam.

— Kaivan Shroff (@KaivanShroff) March 30, 2017

I mean, make no mis­take, if you’re a 30+ year old man that re­al­ly be­lieves this then you failed at mak­ing the jump to Adult.

It’s like,
ever go to the movies and see two bros who *clear­ly came to the movies to­geth­er* put that emp­ty seat be­tween them so I guess we don’t think they came to Lo­gan to blow each other?

Those are the kind of dudes that think like Mike Pence does. Also they prob­a­bly se­cret­ly do want to blow each other.

Though,
in his de­fense, Pence has all this pe­nis see? And it gets into everything.

You have to hit it with a spray bot­tle and be like “back, pe­nis!”

This
IS the same train of thought that sug­gests gay dudes will have sex with any man they see giv­en the chance.

Many of my fa­vorite friends are peo­ple I don’t want to put my wein­er on. They are all nice, at­trac­tive peo­ple but I don’t think of them as places to put my dingaling.

Even though Tyler once tried to grab my hangdown.

And
while we’re dis­tract­ed again, Trump vot­ers caused this:

Mike Pence glee­ful­ly breaks tie for Re­pub­li­cans, takes away wom­en’s health care https://t.co/MG8ZMoDQA6

— Dai­ly Kos (@dailykos) March 30, 2017

 
 

—ja­son malmberg

Flom­mist Ja­son Malm­berg is a sim­ple man who be­lieves in brown liquor and small dogs. He also makes art some­times. Copy­right © 2017 Ja­son Malm­berg. Foto by mehallo.

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