So I saw Uncut Gems (2019) with literally no knowledge of the plot.
It was simultaneously masterfully crafted and the worst movie going experience of my life.
That film has taken weeks if not months off my life.
Also sorry for all the circumcision jokes I made before realizing how Jewish the movie is.
And
They say spec scripts of Seinfeld are a bad idea.
jerry:
You wouldn’t believe it, she asks ME, to eat her ass. ME!
george:
… Eat her ass? I don’t understand, she thinks you’re an ass-eater?
jerry:
She thinks I’m an ass-eater!
george:
An eater … of ass?
jerry:
An ass-eater!
george:
Well did you, you know… eat it?
jerry:
No, I got all self-conscious.
kramer slides in.
jerry:
Kramer, has a woman ever asked you to eat her ass?
kramer:
Oh, yeah, man. You gotta eat her ass.
george:
You gotta?
kramer:
Gotta! (mouth noise)
buzzer rings, it’s elaine.
george:
You know I don’t think I could eat ass. I don’t like having the same dinner twice.
kramer:
Oh that’s disgusting. C’mon Jerry why won’t you eat ass?
jerry:
(Waves Kramer away) Eh.
kramer:
No I mean it! It’s a real intimate moment, eating ass.
elaine:
I’ve eaten ass.
jerry:
You’ve eaten ass?
elaine:
Yeah of course, haven’t you?
george:
That’s it, I’ve gotta try it! George isn’t getting left behind!
george exits.
—Stolen from Xyzz Pleather (hipster doofus)
—melony ppenosyne
Flommist Melony Ppenosyne is a writer and weird artist type. In the last year alone, she’s traveled to Virginia as a competing poet, co-written a play on mental illness that is presently being produced, and crafted a published essay checking the privilege and scope of art galleries. Copyright © 2020 Melony Ppenosyne.
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