Dear millennials in the white car at Broadway and 19th,
I am terribly sorry that in my vain 4th attempt to get you to understand that there was a guy threatening to jump down in front of the train and you needed to turn your car around, I may have called you a “stupid idiot,” or an “asshole,” or screamed a little too loud that you were keeping other cars from turning around because you were a complete moron.
Bear in mind I was on my phone with the 911 dispatcher so I was a little distracted trying to get a cop. I did trying very calmly 4 times to get you to move.
I am also sorry that while diverting the dozens of cars to turn around down a side street I walked backwards into your car, because I didn’t know that you were so incredibly stubborn and defensive, that you were still there ranting things like, “Fuck you!!,” and “What are you a cop?!!!”
My heart aches for the pain your egos suffered when this 70 year old guy yelled at you like you were little children, having no idea how completely fragile your tiny male and female egos were.
Nor did I realized when you threatened to “beat me up” that you were doing it because of the woman driving the car and you needed to prove you were men, (men would have helped me move the dozens of cars).
I also had no idea that I struck you as a “trump voter” until you screamed it, I do hope my assuring you I voted for Biden changed that part of your animosity towards me.
So having said all that kids, “Get over your fucking selves you moronic, selfish, insecure little brats and respect your god-damned bigger, braver, smarter elders!”
—Louis Warfield
Flommist Louis Warfield is a fabrication specialist who runs the award-winning Rhino Design Studio, “You dream it, we’ll build it.” Copyright © 2021 Louis Warfield.
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