and arrested him after he retired

So they ar­rest­ed the East Area Rapist. A 72 year old for­mer po­lice of­fi­cer.

1. 
He was a cop in Auburn, Cal­i­for­nia, which is close to Sacra­men­to where he was com­mit­ting crimes.

2. 
He was fired for shoplift­ing the very things he com­mit­ted the crimes with.

3. 
He was ar­rest­ed yes­ter­day via ‘nee­dle in the haystack’ DNA ev­i­dence.

4. 
Pat­ton Os­walt cred­its his late wife, Michelle Mc­Na­ma­ra with pro­vid­ing clues that led to the ar­rest.

And you know what’s al­most as great as DNA ev­i­dence?

Both­er­ing to com­pare the spot on artist sketch­es to the guy who is AC­TIVE­LY WORK­ING IN THE PO­LICE STA­TION THEY’RE POST­ED IN.

And I’m see­ing all sorts of peo­ple like “haha gotcha bitch” and like … no, that’s not what’s hap­pened.

A man com­mit­ted atroc­i­ties for, like, a decade, did noth­ing for thir­ty years, seem­ing­ly got to have a ca­reer in the very field that should have caught him im­me­di­ate­ly, and they came and ar­rest­ed him af­ter he re­tired.

No­body was spared, and his pun­ish­ment will only come af­ter a full life. Hell, I’m star­ing at his cars and big ole boat and house right now. Not just a full life, an af­flu­ent one.

Now, it seems, we’re all gonna pre­tend that we don’t know what pro­tect­ed him, and in fact cel­e­brate that he was caught, even though it will ac­com­plish ba­si­cal­ly noth­ing.
 
 

—mel­ony ppenosyne

Flom­mist Mel­ony Ppenosyne is a writer and weird artist type. In the last year alone, she’s trav­eled to Vir­ginia as a com­pet­ing poet, co-writ­ten a play on men­tal ill­ness that is present­ly be­ing pro­duced, and craft­ed a pub­lished es­say check­ing the priv­i­lege and scope of art gal­leries. Copy­right © 2018 Mel­ony Ppenosyne.

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