gotta brown the stems

The cashier lady at Tar­get checked my ID and said

“Wat, hon­eyz? You don’t look a day over 22.”

Any­hoo, long sto­ry short, 

I’m sor­ry Am­ber but I’m mar­ried to both of you now.

Those are the rules.

 

We get some of the best sunsets.
 

Yes. This is real.

And this is all hands on deck.
 

 

One thing the Civ­il War-crav­ing MA­G­As and the left­ist “ac­cel­er­a­tionists” have in com­mon is both are dumb enough to think so­ci­ety could come tum­bling vi­o­lent­ly down but their own lives wouldn’t be neg­a­tive­ly affected. 

The MA­G­As re­al­ly be­lieve they could go to a bat­tle on a Sat­ur­day that ends at a set time and they could stop in the Chil fil A dri­ve thru on the way home and the smug ac­cel­er­a­tionists ex­pect they will still have an open chan­nel through which to com­mu­ni­cate their smug sense of pu­ri­ty, rather than, ya know, get­ting bru­tal­ly tor­tured and mur­dered as of­ten hap­pens in real so­cial collapses.
 

Just like in 2016, we have a for­eign psy op per­suad­ing well-mean­ing but naive young peo­ple to de­stroy the mere­ly Good in fa­vor of the mi­rage of the Perfect. 

And just like in 2016, think­ing it’s bet­ter to be “right” on the in­ter­net rather than ef­fec­tive in the real world is what clout chas­ing knobs do to screw every­one else over at the ex­pense of their deeply sim­plis­tic sense of su­pe­ri­or­i­ty and purity.

I’m not play­ing with you protest vot­ers af­ter 2016. I’m gonna treat you like the fas­cist trai­tors you’re so hap­py to hand the coun­try over to.
 

 

“I vot­ed for Jill Stein cuz I want­ed to send a mes­sage and now my Poly pod is split up over 5 diffrent death camps. They won’t even give me my phone back so I can post a thirst trap about it.”

#project2025
 

Your priv­i­lege ex­ists EVEN IF you are LGBTQ and live in a com­fort­ably blue state. 

You have the lux­u­ry of tend­ing only to your own sphere of priv­i­lege at the ex­pense of oth­ers just to prove a smug point and chase Likes. 

We got burned by peo­ple like you in 2016 in ways were still suf­fer­ing from. 

And you shit talk­ing Biden just to be­grudg­ing­ly vote for him in the end is still harmful.
 

 

For Malm­berg,

the fu­ture is some­thing to look for­ward to, not to fear. He is a cre­ative man of many in­ter­ests: Film, po­et­ry, karate, mu­sic, and dance. He is a man of pas­sion and mys­tery. He is a man of lust.

“I only am who I am be­cause I was born that way. I have a gift and I am try­ing to not be self­ish about it but to use it. Okay? And if you want to knock me for that, it’s your own prob­lem. Okay? Jeal­ousy will get you nowhere. I’m gonna keep rockin’ on!”

 

Got­ta brown the stems if you want Cha­ka Khan to pull up in a stretch limo and hand you a Cashier’s Check for $24.

 

—ja­son malmberg

Flom­mist Ja­son Malm­berg is a sim­ple man who be­lieves in brown liquor and small dogs. He also makes art some­times. Copy­right © 2024 Ja­son Malmberg.

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