broadway and 19th, sacramento

Dear mil­len­ni­als in the white car at Broad­way and 19th,

I am ter­ri­bly sor­ry that in my vain 4th at­tempt to get you to un­der­stand that there was a guy threat­en­ing to jump down in front of the train and you need­ed to turn your car around, I may have called you a “stu­pid id­iot,” or an “ass­hole,” or screamed a lit­tle too loud that you were keep­ing oth­er cars from turn­ing around be­cause you were a com­plete moron. 

Bear in mind I was on my phone with the 911 dis­patch­er so I was a lit­tle dis­tract­ed try­ing to get a cop. I did try­ing very calm­ly 4 times to get you to move.

I am also sor­ry that while di­vert­ing the dozens of cars to turn around down a side street I walked back­wards into your car, be­cause I did­n’t know that you were so in­cred­i­bly stub­born and de­fen­sive, that you were still there rant­i­ng things like, “Fuck you!!,” and “What are you a cop?!!!”

My heart aches for the pain your egos suf­fered when this 70 year old guy yelled at you like you were lit­tle chil­dren, hav­ing no idea how com­plete­ly frag­ile your tiny male and fe­male egos were. 

Nor did I re­al­ized when you threat­ened to “beat me up” that you were do­ing it be­cause of the woman dri­ving the car and you need­ed to prove you were men, (men would have helped me move the dozens of cars). 

I also had no idea that I struck you as a “trump vot­er” un­til you screamed it, I do hope my as­sur­ing you I vot­ed for Biden changed that part of your an­i­mos­i­ty to­wards me.

So hav­ing said all that kids, “Get over your fuck­ing selves you mo­ron­ic, self­ish, in­se­cure lit­tle brats and re­spect your god-damned big­ger, braver, smarter elders!”

—Louis Warfield

Flom­mist Louis Warfield is a fab­ri­ca­tion spe­cial­ist who runs the award-win­ning Rhi­no De­sign Stu­dio, “You dream it, we’ll build it.” Copy­right © 2021 Louis Warfield.

MOR D’ARTÍCULOS  MOR FLOMM !

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